Have you ever asked someone, "Do you believe you are loved?"
Try it. It's interesting to see the reaction. Most of us hesitate before we answer this question.
You ARE Loved
You ARE Valuable
Who you are matters
What you do matters
You are loved by your Creator. He made you because He loves you. Everything you do, say, and feel matters.
If you don't believe that you matter. If you don't believe that you are loved, or that somebody cares, the behavior that comes out of that is very different than the behavior of someone who does feel loved, or when you feel that you are loved and cared for or valued, it's a whole different outlook on everything.
We are in a process of evolution, right? Where we were a few weeks ago, or where we were two years ago, to where we are now, we have evolved. That doesn't mean we've evolved, always for the better. We cannot just stay stagnant, we grow in one way or another, and that growth is based on what we think it's based on what we feel. It's based on what we do or don't do.
When I was working in the crisis shelter, I worked with teens. Usually teens that were discarded. These were kids who had either been rejected, abandoned, kicked out, abused, you name it. They had been through some of the craziest situations that we could even imagine.
I really loved these kids. They were so resilient. They were trying to make the best of what they could.
And I totally understood what they were going through. They weren't trying to be bad people. They were trying to survive. We would talk with them and say, “what's going on?” Most of the time they didn't want to talk about it. But, with time, they realized that I wasn't asking to be nosy. I was asking because I cared.
I wanted to really know what was going on with them, not what they did, but I wanted to know what they were feeling, what they were thinking.
Once they knew that I really cared, then they started realizing that it was okay to share what they were thinking and feeling. Their behaviors would change. They would start working on what they needed to do to make life a little bit better. We'd come up with ways to change things from the way they were, so they could get out of the vicious little cycle they were in.
Years later, they'd come and say hello, and tell me how they were doing, or they would call. When they were asked, “What made you change?”, they would say, “somebody cared”.
So, it does matter. If you don't believe me, try it. Try asking somebody, “how are you?” and mean it. Try asking your own family, or friends, “How are you? How are you feeling today?”, “How's it going?” I'm not talking about “oh, I feel good” or “I feel bad”. I'm talking about, seriously, “what's going on in your world?” “What matters to you?”, “What do you think?”, “How do you see this?”.
Do you want to believe you are loved?
Here's a challenge for you. Try this and see the changes in how you feel and what you believe. For 21 days, when you wake up in the morning, tell yourself out loud, “I am loved. I matter. I'm valuable”. That's all you have to say. Then go on with your day. Do what you usually do.
Before you go to sleep, do the same thing. And at the end of the 21 days, check in with yourself, see if you feel any different.
Okay, so some people will tell me I'm crazy because I'm telling you to talk to yourself. It's okay, because what's happening is you are telling your brain, something different. If you don't feel loved, if you don't feel valuable, it's because there's something in your brain, (usually in your subconscious), that's telling you that.
I'd love to hear how it went for you.
Or if you want to learn more?